Another Hard Day

After the difficult start to the day I called Father Chuck and asked him to come. He spent some time with Daddy. Daddy was calm and peaceful. Father Chuck said that he could tell it would not be long. Daddy had already seen my mother and he was ready he just needed to stay relaxed and peaceful. Then he said that though he wasn’t sure he felt that my presense might be causing my father to hang on. He thought that it would be helpful for me in my current exhausted state as well as for my father if I could leave the house for a while and go spend some time with myself. So I left the house for three hours. My brother called and said that I needed to get back home because there wasn’t much time. So I got home about 15 minutes later and the minute I walked in to the room all of his vital signs started coming back. This upset me a great deal. I decided to leave the house again. I called Father Chuck and he said that I just needed to stay in the other room. I could be close but perhaps my father was concerned that it was going to be just too hard on me to be there at the end. So I have been sitting in the living room for the last two hours. We are going to have an 11th hour hospice volunteer sit with him tonight until midnight. I am going to try to sleep in the other bedroom instead of on my Dad’s floor or the couch tonight and try to get some rest.

Please pray for a peaceful passing for my father. It is so much harder to see him suffer than it will be for me to know he is at peace. We need to let go of each other. We will always have each other even when he is on the other side. I know that. I just need for him to know that.